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Mar 10, 2012

A Life Worth Living For

I'm a homeless wanderer right now. I'm stuck in a local Star Bucks with a mug of Earl Grey Tea (because it makes no sense to have another cup of coffee for the second time of the evening). The story is simple, I met up with a lovely friend, all was well until I boarded the bus that was heading home and I realised I did not have my keys with me. So I sat on the bus all the way until I was back at the station and wanted to charge my dying phone with my laptop - turned out that my laptop's dying as well, and there are no sockets (even though I armed myself with some dead heavy charger and plugs. Halfway through my post on deviantART my old HP companion CRASHED. I dropped my medicine and I can't hear properly, my mind is groggy - I'm so tired I can sleep right NOW.

And the feeling is kinda new, I wouldn't say it's good, but the feeling of typing-this-blog-post-on-a-old-laptop-that-is-going-to-go-flat-any-moment, in a place full of strangers and strange music a float in the Saturday-night air is pretty exotic and fresh, in my queer perspective.

Is this how a wanderer feels like? Is this the same kind of feeling I would get when I travel alone to Korea? I'm terribly worn out right now. Yet there is this strange sense of peace in me that is - well, glowing? A strange kind of warmth that is burning gracefully like an old hearth in an old cottage in an old town.

I'm grateful towards the stranger who looked after my laptop when I venture away from my seat and squeezed myself through the throng for the washroom. I appreciate the gentleman who smiled at me as I took up a seat in the corner and sort of intruded his privacy. I appreciate the people who left me alone to my own devices as I'm typing this out-of-the-world-post in a place that is SO familiar to me (my local Star Bucks that I walk by every single day) yet so faraway. And I'm glad that I just (finally) found a place to charge my poor gadgets.

Really, technology - power source = powerless.

Oh and due to my recent throat infection, my left ear is failing me. (Temporary, I hope) Talk to the Right ear. No pun intended.

How does it feel like to be partially deaf in a ear? Well, it kinda feels like I'm swimming through a fish bowl, or walking on air with a glass bowl over my head - I'm not kidding. I finally understand the importance of all our senses. Without any one of them, life just doesn't seem like it was before. And I told myself, even if I'm deaf in one ear and I could never hear properly again (I hope I'm exaggerating things here) I'll still go all out to pursue my dreams, all the more because I still have so many things worth living for.

-Love,
Li'az Teira

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